Unexpected News

There's really no easy way to say this. My mom called me last night with the results of the pathology report on a mass that was removed from her breast last week. In the past when she's had masses removed they've been benign. Unfortunately this one did come back malignant. Officially it's stage 1 breast cancer. It was caught very early and the doctors are optimistic that this is not going to turn into something life threatening. She has to go back Friday for another procedure to test if the cancer is in the lymph nodes. If not (which is what the doctors think) then all she has to have is some radiation and she'll be fine. There aren't side effects with radiation, either. But if it is in the lymph nodes then she will either have the full round of chemo and radiation, or have a mastectomy.

My mom is doing fantastic. Even though this is scary and upsetting for my sister and me, Mom is not upset or afraid. She is adamant that she will NOT be upset or go to a pity party. We know that breast cancer is no longer the death sentence it used to be even ten years ago, and when caught so early on it is very treatable. But even with that said I personally don't know how she can be so calm about it.

It's hard to hear that your parent has cancer, no matter what kind or the severity. When you are 26 you never think that you'd be in a position where your parent has a scary disease. We've been socialized to connect cancer with painful treatments and impending death, so even though I know that she probably won't have to go through that, I can't help but imagine worst case scenarios. After I talked to her last night I was ok, and since she wasn't upset I didn't want to get upset either. I told Isaiah and was even ok when I first said "it is cancer" out loud. I was even ok when my sister called me after she had talked to mom and was really upset. But then this morning when I was getting ready for work it actually sunk in. It wasn't a good morning, to say the least. I decided to go home Friday morning and meet my step-dad at the hospital and then stay until Sunday. I know that there's nothing I can do if I go home and that it won't change the fact this is happening, but I just have this feeling that I should be there.

I feel doubly bad because it is RA selection interviews on Saturday and I had a breakdown when I told my supervisor about it but they are letting me go and my coworkers are covering for me. Isaiah is being amazing and supportive, as of course he would be. I have an incredible group of friends and support system here and I am so grateful for them.

Keep your fingers crossed that this is going to stay a minor thing and that the worst isn't going to happen!